WAR OF WORDS
By BROOKE SHIELDS
The New York Times, 7/1/05
Published: July 1, 2005
Iwas
hoping it wouldn't come to this, but after Tom Cruise's interview
with Matt Lauer on the NBC show "Today" last week, I feel
compelled to speak not just for myself but also for the hundreds
of thousands of women who have suffered from postpartum depression.
While
Mr. Cruise says that Mr. Lauer and I do not "understand the
history of psychiatry," I'm going to take a wild guess and
say that Mr. Cruise has never suffered from postpartum depression.
Postpartum depression is caused by the hormonal shifts that occur
after childbirth. During pregnancy, a woman's level of estrogen
and progesterone greatly increases; then, in the first 24 hours
after childbirth, the amount of these hormones rapidly drops to
normal, nonpregnant levels. This change in hormone levels can lead
to reactions that range from restlessness and irritability to feelings
of sadness and hopelessness.
I never thought I would have postpartum depression. After two years
of trying to conceive and several attempts at in vitro fertilization,
I thought I would be overjoyed when my daughter, Rowan Francis,
was born in the spring of 2003. But instead I felt completely overwhelmed.
This baby was a stranger to me. I didn't know what to do with her.
I didn't feel at all joyful. I attributed feelings of doom to simple
fatigue and figured that they would eventually go away. But they
didn't; in fact, they got worse.
I couldn't bear the sound of Rowan crying, and I dreaded the moments
my husband would bring her to me. I wanted her to disappear. I wanted
to disappear. At my lowest points, I thought of swallowing a bottle
of pills or jumping out the window of my apartment.
I couldn't believe it when my doctor told me that I was suffering
from postpartum depression and gave me a prescription for the antidepressant
Paxil. I wasn't thrilled to be taking drugs. In fact, I prematurely
stopped taking them and had a relapse that almost led me to drive
my car into a wall with Rowan in the backseat. But the drugs, along
with weekly therapy sessions, are what saved me - and my family.
Since writing about my experiences with the disease, I have been
approached by many women who have told me their stories and thanked
me for opening up about a topic that is often not discussed because
of fear, shame or lack of support and information. Experts estimate
that one in 10 women suffer, usually in silence, with this treatable
disease. We are living in an era of so-called family values, yet
because almost all of the postnatal focus is on the baby, mothers
are overlooked and left behind to endure what can be very dark times.
And comments like those made by Tom Cruise are a disservice to mothers
everywhere. To suggest that I was wrong to take drugs to deal with
my depression, and that instead I should have taken vitamins and
exercised shows an utter lack of understanding about postpartum
depression and childbirth in general.
If any good can come of Mr. Cruise's ridiculous rant, let's hope
that it gives much-needed attention to a serious disease. Perhaps
now is the time to call on doctors, particularly obstetricians and
pediatricians, to screen for postpartum depression. After all, during
the first three months after childbirth, you see a pediatrician
at least three times. While pediatricians are trained to take care
of children, it would make sense for them to talk with new mothers,
ask questions and inform them of the symptoms and treatment should
they show signs of postpartum depression.
In a strange way, it was comforting to me when my obstetrician told
me that my feelings of extreme despair and my suicidal thoughts
were directly tied to a biochemical shift in my body. Once we admit
that postpartum is a serious medical condition, then the treatment
becomes more available and socially acceptable. With a doctor's
care, I have since tapered off the medication, but without it, I
wouldn't have become the loving parent I am today.
So, there you have it. It's not the history of psychiatry, but it
is my history, personal and real.
|